Belfry &
Studer ConsultingBelfry &
Studer Consulting
One of the basic premises of the first article had to do with the importance of interpersonal relationships to every human endeavor. It may be well known to many reading this that networking has become the life-blood for a lot of people. This seems to be more and more true every day, as more and more individuals, either by design or by default, find themselves on their own. Some have chosen to ply their trades independently, while others have found themselves in the unexpected position of looking for somewhere to do what they do.
Regardless of how they got there, it's safe to say, those who have managed to form solid relationships, have developed a wide network of people with whom they are in touch, have the better access to opportunities. If you think about it, it's always been that way, with something like the 'good old boy' network as a prime example. What has this got to do with anything, you might ask? Everything.
The point is simple, interpersonal skills may be the most important resource a person can develop. We've seen it all too often in our practice, that technical skills can take someone a long way toward success in a field, while poor interpersonal skills can take a person a long way down. For example, sexual harassment and discrimination are not made out of technical expertise or its lack, but rather out of lousy interpersonal relationships, born out of poor understanding of what it means to deal with other people in a respectful way. As often as not, the circumstances that lead up to such charges and complaints have a long history. There's more involved here than mere 'unacceptable behavior' on one individual's part. Assume it's accurate that you could have seen a problem coming, just by knowing the people involved. How come it was allowed to get to that point? Why wasn't something done to deal with the coming storm?
In our practice we've seen it many times, where it takes a serious problem or allegation, to wake people up. This is almost always true when the person accused, of something like harassment, is a high producer in the organization, or a top salesman. What goes on that these individuals are able to behave, oftentimes quite inappropriately, on a regular basis, without being held accountable? Where is leadership in such a situation? When you take a look at these incidents the pattern is often very clear. Leadership has been irresponsible. It's that simple. Whoever was in a position of authority with the person or persons involved has not seen fit to do their job responsibly. They've not paid attention to one of their prime management functions, that is to see to it that their employees are behaving responsibly. How come?
Focusing on leadership, as we do in our practice, places emphasis on who a person is and what he or she is all about. For instance, what drives this person, and what form does it take, what does that look like, especially in his or her interpersonal life? This is not generally an easy sell! Experience has shown us the high degree of resistance that gets stirred, for example, when accountability or responsibility 'come home to roost'! Never-the-less, leaders can expect no better than what they are, themselves, out of those around them. This goes beyond mere expectations, or potential, and asks, "where's the beef"? There really seems to be no substitute for 'the real thing'.
What comes out of this way of thinking is a definite bias against a simple 'training' approach to things. Unless there is some clearly definable problem with a specific solution or approach to solving it, training does little. That is, training has its place, primarily in the technical, 'task side' of work. The interpersonal side is far too complex and slippery to assume that a little training will change much, at least not for long. Instead, what needs to happen is a more far reaching focus, that aims to develop personal and organizational 'leadership pools'. Professional development has come to mean far more than simply getting better at something. It has come to require that people continue to grow and develop as human beings. How else can such problems as discrimination, racism, gender bias, and all other interpersonal biases ever be resolvable, if not through those in positions of influence, the leaders of our communities, institutions, organizations, businesses, churches, families?
To this writer's way of thinking, family is the most important. But as our society continues to evolve, it's getting harder to define the notion in a way that everyone can accept. Perhaps recognizing that the same emotional dynamics that drive families, are out there, driving society in unseen ways, may at least allow for some rational discussion.
What do you think?
